Still here

Posted 11 hours ago

In January, I read Geoff Graham’s article, Changing Roles. It dawned on him that somehow at sometime, he stopped being a web designer. It was not something he necessarily intended to happen. He took advantage of different opportunities and evolved into a new role. Web educator is the best way to describe his role these days.

As I read Geoff’s article, it gave me a moment to pause. I am still here. I am still a front-end developer (even though my title is UX Developer). I am still here. And I don’t say that like a grump older person who has been in the role for a long time with a sense that I am stuck or that I am not thrilled about it.

No, when I say “I am still here” it is very much an enthusiastic and very grateful tone. I feel incredibly blessed that “I am still here.” Why?

Two years ago, I lost my job unexpected. And I spent the next twelve months looking for a new job. There were a lot of days during that unemployment that I thought my time building and crafting websites were over. There were days that I had to fight hard against discouragement to keep going. It took me quite a while just to start getting some interviews. And then I would get my hopes up only to be disappointed. Even a year ago today, I had some possibilities but still had this fear that my time in the Web industry might be over. Fighting for hope was a daily battle.

I had no idea what I would do instead. I had invested twenty five years in this field. And I still enjoyed working on every project that came my way. I love crafting with code. And that was the hardest part of being unemployed. I was not motivated to do side projects because in a lot of ways, it was too painful. I missed the energy that doing creative work each day had given to me while I was employed.

I entertained the idea of pivoting to something else or trying to retool. I bought Josh Comeau‘s Joy of React course and started learning React. But I didn’t necessarily see a way forward in that lane as all the job postings that I saw were looking for someone with years of experience. And I struggled to think about being a React developer because of some fundamental philosophical/professional disagreements with frameworks as an approach to building the web. It seemed to go against the grain of the Web not using the most up-to-date HMTL elements like dialog. I also had accessibility and progressive enhancement concerns.

But I am still here. The timing of things came together and Revive Our Hearts ministry needed someone with my skills. It was the right fit at the right time. It brought me back full circle. I got my start in web development while working for Campus Crusade for Christ (now Cru). Once again, I was going to be able to invest my skills in something I was very passionate about.

There have been so many days, especially over the last six months, that I am just so grateful and appreciative of the fact that I still am here–that I still get to do the thing that I love doing and have built up so many skills and knowledge about. I am humbled when I see how many people are losing their jobs in the industry and still looking for new opportunities. I don’t take it for granted that I still get to do what I do. It is a privilege and a blessing.

I don’t know how much longer it will last but I want to enjoy every minute of it. I thought about several scenes from the movie, Toy Story 2. Woody, a vintage toy cowboy, considers going to a museum as he begins to feel that his days as Andy’s beloved toy are numbered. But then later in the movie he comes to his senses.

“I can’t prevent Andy from growing up but I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

After Buzz Lightyear, Woody’s space toy friend, asks Woody if he was still worried about Andy growing up. “Nah, it will be fun while it lasts.”

I don’t know what is ahead for our industry. I know there is a lot of concern about how AI will change our jobs or whether there will be less jobs in the future because of AI. I still have my doubts about the “inevitability” of AI. But I am still not sure how to hedge my bets.

But for now, “I am still here.” And I am grateful and trying to enjoy it as long as it lasts. And trusting God with what is next if it comes to that.

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